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lulz

Post by Doyler on Wed Aug 11, 2010 4:46 pm

http://www.doktorsnake.com/2010/02/27/cheryl-cole-penis-jinxer-spell/
X Factor star Cheryl Cole is reportedly about to meet up with her estranged husband Ashley Cole, the Chelsea footballer. Their marriage split because Ashley cheated on her. But word has it that there is a possibility he could charm her into giving him a second chance.

If he succeeds, how can Cheryl be sure Ashley won’t cheat on her yet again?

One way to avoid this is to use an old folk magic remedy – a penis jinxer spell. It renders a man unable to get aroused with anyone else but you. This would be ideal for Cheryl Cole if she takes Ashley back. It would put her mind at rest.

Apparently Ashley has been texting Cheryl, begging her for a second chance. According to Cheryl’s friends, Ashley knows how to switch on the charm and could well succeed in persuading her to give the marriage another go.

Anyway, if Cheryl does take Ashley back, this is what she needs to do to cast the Penis Jinxer spell and ensure Ashley’s fidelity:

Ingredients:

Blue penis candle
African Ju Ju oil
Citronella pure essential oil
Poppet doll (make one yourself or buy one)
Pubic hairs (taken surreptitiously from Ashley Cole)
Glue stick (the sort used for sticking paper and card)
After setting up a simple altar with a couple of candles, take Ashley’s pubic hairs and rub them across the glue stick, then stick them to the crotch region of the poppet doll.

Using a new nail, write Ashley’s name on the blue penis candle. Then place the base of the penis candle between the legs of the doll, so it looks as if it is the doll’s penis.

Now mix a little African Ju Ju oil and Citronella oil on the palms of your hands and rub them on the penis candle, stroking downwards. Then repeat the following charm seven times:

“Penis candle, oh penis candle,
as I stroke you with these oils,
Keep Ashley’s nature from rising
for anyone but me.”

Light the candle and let it burn down by half-an-inch each day. Once it has burned out, Ashley will be physically unable to stray again.
lolwut
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Doyler

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Re: lulz

Post by Doyler on Tue Aug 17, 2010 10:53 am


Lulz, could be worse Razz
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